Call me irresponsible . . .

Anyone else think it's funny that I have two degrees (practically), but it still costs me an extra $20 a day to rent a car because I am not yet 25 years old? What do they expect anyway?

In my defense . . .

Well, friends, I defended my thesis. As if that weren't good enough, I also passed. Let me tell you, it feels so good to be done! I have a few minor changes and corrections to make, but on the whole, I have a finished thesis. It's times like this when I want to say "Yes, I'm awesome!"

And they all lived happily ever after

It's D-day tomorrow (as in defense day), and I must admit, it's a miracle that I have gotten to this point (especially considering my ever-dwindling motivation to work on the thesis anymore - meaning that I'm posting here instead of putting the finishing touches on the presentation . . . yeah). Special thanks are in order to all who have housed me or fed me or gave me work or listened to my frustrations or made me laugh or held me while I cried or just gave your love and support to me in this process. Despite my protestations otherwise, I have really enjoyed my last month in Provo.

I am amazed at how much a person can learn in a month's time. I learned that I am just a couple of inches too long to really sleep well on a couch for more than 2 nights in a row. I learned that onions and tuna are quite tasty in pasta. I learned that even my heavy winter coat (with all the subsequent layers underneath) will not keep me from freezing if I am insistent enough to sit through a snow-laden football game. I learned that LaVell Edward's Stadium looks like a snow globe when the snow is falling and the big lights are on. I was reminded of the schizophrenia of Utah's weather patterns. I learned that I will never tire of the joy I experience when seeing an old friend on campus. I learned that there is always work to be done. I learned that riding a horse will give you a better full-body workout than any gym membership. I learned that I really like to ride horses - fast horses. I learned that I can sleep on a bus. I learned that there's always time for one more laugh. I learned that while I like cats, I really am more of a dog person. I was reminded that it is worth it to make new friends, even if you aren't necessarily putting down roots in a place. I learned that Eva Cassidy has a voice that can soothe my soul. I was reminded of how much I love to teach. I learned that some people think I'm smarter than I am. I learned that it's okay to do hard things (my mom has been telling me this one for years). I learned that the longer you take to do something hard, the harder it becomes. I learned what it feels like to be at a loss for words (and to have your words not come out like you expect - a new experience for me, I assure you. I can now identify with Shakespeare's character Dogberry better than ever before). I learned that while my boots may be made for walking, my feet are not made for walking in boots for extended distances. I learned that California Pizza Kitchen is not so good two nights in a row. I learned that after having lived in Provo for about a quarter of my life, I can't really expect to go to a new ward and not see someone I know. I learned that I always overpack - even when I try underpacking, I still overpack. I learned that Angela's singing resonates directly with my tear ducts. I learned that changing in the back of a moving car with darkly tinted windows, while not the most comfortable or convenient experience, is possible. I learned that I have the best friends in the world. Okay, yeah, the last one sounds cheesy, but it's true. I know some truly incredible people (you know who you are!), and my life has been greatly enriched by the relationships I've made here. If it doesn't hurt to say good-bye, then I guess the experience wasn't worth it. But, the nice thing is, you don't really have to say good-bye . . . it's more of a see you later, and you never know when that later might be.

Just a few reasons I love my family

Anyone for a game of Risk?

It has finally dawned on me. I can't believe I didn't see it sooner. I don't belong in Provo anymore. This shouldn't surprise me, but it does. I guess you could say that I've become disenchanted. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely place. Peculiar, yes, but then again, what city doesn't have it's own quirks?

I still love the mountains and the seasons. I love interacting daily with so many different people. I love watching people interact on campus ("Who Likes Who at BYU" is still a favorite pasttime). Few things fill my heart with more joy than running into a friend from a previous class or ward that I haven't seen in a while and taking the time to say hello and re-connect (regardless of whether or not you're late for class). But, as I watched the bloodshot, sleep-deprived eyes of students with the haunted look of midterms in their incurious eyes, I realized that I had paid my dues (in the form of tuition, mostly), and it is time for me to leave. I feel almost as if I'm watching a dialogue that I have no part in. Like everyone is on stage for Macbeth and here I am waiting to go on as Linda Loman - a little part in a completely different show, yet I stand in anxiously the wings anyway.

One thing I will miss is the "unexpected overheard conversation" that seasoned many a walk across campus. Mind you, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind-of a serial eavesdropper. My mom always said that my big ears got me in trouble because I knew all kinds of things I shouldn't. However, they provided for countless laughs between classes. Like the day the two freshmen behind me argued over which language was truly the language of world domination (I think German finally won out), or the best way to eat an artichoke (including, but not limited to, casting out the evil spirit by incantation prior to cooking). Today's entry was not necessarily original, but having been away for a time, I had forgotten how funny such a snippet could be.

Girl talking too loud and rather whiningly on her cell phone: " Well, we've known each other since July, and we're not even engaged yet . . . "

Ah, the joys of romance in Provo. Yes, I don't think I'll give up my habit just yet. There are far too many delicious morsels yet to be overheard.

Something to make you go "hmmmm"

Have you ever noticed how when people wear high-top sneakers, it looks like they have cankles*?


*Cankle (n.) - the place where calf meets ankle but there is no clear distinction where one ends and the other begins.

THESIS DEFENSE SCHEDULED!!

October 30. 9:30 AM. 125 Taylor Building.

I'm so relieved.

Life in the Wizarding World

Hogwart's Newest Unforgivable Curse: "Thesify!"

Things always take longer than you think

You know, flexibility was never one of my strong points. Even when I was younger and in dance classes, I could never do the splits or anything like that. I'm usually the type of person that plans, and then sticks to that plan at all costs.

Fortunately for me, some things don't go how I've planned. Like the time I thought I wanted one of those sit-behind-a-desk-and-study-while-you're-pretending-to-work jobs on campus. Things definitely didn't work how I'd planned them, and I ended up having the best job of my life working as a research assistant for a professor I'd never met before. So many blessings came from following the course I never would have seen on my own.

Well, it's turned out that this whole graduating-and-starting-life thing that I had planned on doing in August has taken much longer than anticipated. I went home for a couple days expecting to start my new job right away. A couple of days turned into a couple of weeks - for reasons out of my control - and at first it really bothered me to reply with "I don't know" when people would ask how long I'm in town for. Now, I have returned to my Alma Mater in an attempt to actually cross all my t's and dot all my i's and have a defended thesis. But, after a month of living out of a suitcase at home, the adventure of it all has set in.

I don't know how long I'll be in Utah. Or even what stage of thesis-dom will be attained during this visit. The amazing thing is this: I don't care. I don't care that it's not done yet. I don't care that I have no idea when I'll be defending, when I'll be moving, or when my job will actually start. It's a liberating feeling. Of course, now that I'm free I'll get to grow in some other area. In the meantime, we're on month two out of the suitcase. We'll see if I can make it to three.