Wednesday, May 11, 2011

We've Created A Monster

The picture is old, but it exemplifies his, ahem, distaste so well.

So, Bruce has never liked to sit still to have his nails cut. About 6 months ago, I discovered that if I used YouTube as a distractor, Bruce didn't even seem to notice that I was cutting his nails. Score one for Mom!

The video that works the best is, surprisingly, a cat video. See, Bruce had a really great first experience with cats. At Christmas, we were visiting my parents. Their neighbor across the street has this uncharacteristically cuddly cat. When we were playing in the front yard, the cat came right up to Bruce and sat on his lap, purring like a jackhammer. Bruce was in love. Little did I know the deep-rooted seeds of terror that would be planted that day.

At first, the cat videos were harmless. I could use them as my crutch and leave happily once the shearing ceased. Alas, we have walked into a living nightmare.

If the computer is anywhere that Bruce can see it, he immediately stretches forth his hand, and loudly proclaims, "Meow!" If his cries are ignored, or denied, they exponentially increase in volume and intensity. So much so, that at least temporary hearing thresholds shift if his cries go unheeded. "MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!," he plaintively wails, accompanied by frantic bursts of fury.

The unfortunate thing is that most videos use absolutely ridiculous and un-felinelike music. I mean, do cats really evoke the need for Smashmouth? We hear it so much, that Brent has taken to chanting in his sleep: "What a concept! I could use a little fuel myself . . ."

So, gentle reader, please notice this for the cry for help that it is. Where can we turn for deliverance?