The bedtime routine is complete: bath, a feeding, snuggles and story-time. I even rocked the little critter and sent him off to dreamland. And here, 10 minutes later, he has woken up and begun the cries. He usually goes to bed quite well - hardly a peep. But tonight, I am hearing the tears of displeasure. My current situation is not unique to me.
I know he'll be just fine, but it still breaks my heart a little bit.
It's exhausting to be so needed. I know that sounds like a full-of-myself thing to say, but tonight I'm feeling all of the demands on my time and my psyche. Work, school, home, family. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just put aside being a responsible adult for an hour.
And then, I remember the moment today when I took a step outside a felt the faint drizzle of rain on my cheeks and beheld the glorious full rainbow to the east - a tender mercy on a day when I was really feeling the grind. I have so much to be grateful for. I'm even happy to have a healthy, crying baby.
We're back home again, after spending an extended vacation 500 miles from here with dear family and friends. After being gone for a month, we had to start the new year running errands to get our life in order again. As we were heading out of Costco, I overheard the funniest thing. There was a child sitting in the front of a shopping cart, and using his whiningest voice, he repeated over and over, "I just want to be a good boy, Mom." The sound of his voice and the meaning of his words were so incongruous that I couldn't help but laugh.
As wonderful as our month away was, I must admit, it's good to be home.