I sit at my computer to keep from feeling guilty.
The bedtime routine is complete: bath, a feeding, snuggles and story-time. I even rocked the little critter and sent him off to dreamland. And here, 10 minutes later, he has woken up and begun the cries. He usually goes to bed quite well - hardly a peep. But tonight, I am hearing the tears of displeasure. My current situation is not unique to me.
I know he'll be just fine, but it still breaks my heart a little bit.
It's exhausting to be so needed. I know that sounds like a full-of-myself thing to say, but tonight I'm feeling all of the demands on my time and my psyche. Work, school, home, family. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just put aside being a responsible adult for an hour.
And then, I remember the moment today when I took a step outside a felt the faint drizzle of rain on my cheeks and beheld the glorious full rainbow to the east - a tender mercy on a day when I was really feeling the grind. I have so much to be grateful for. I'm even happy to have a healthy, crying baby.
The Importance of Getting Influenza Vaccine
5 years ago
I often have to remind myself that this IS what I dreamed of... maybe not knowing it was this demanding, but I dreamt of little ones to put to bed, to snuggle with and to give everything to. Last night we had one of THOSE nights, too. So, we slowed down today. I decided it's great if all I get done today is a grocery trip and a few phone calls. And it's been a good day.
ReplyDeleteahhh you have a cute little baby! My dear friend I miss everything about you! Remember that time we danced out in the street with the rain and rainbows?? That was wonderful! You are wonderful don't ever forget it!
ReplyDeleteThat's how a lot of days go: mostly stressful with a few good moments. Everything that's hard now will get easier eventually, though. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteYes, it is what I dreamed of. And I love it! Moments like that one help me refocus my eternal perspective. I can't wait to see who this little boy becomes.
ReplyDeleteand sometimes it is good to take an hour off. hand the baby to someone trustworthy and escape in a book, steal away to a movie, storm an old factory with your canon point and shoot, indulge in blog browsing or listen to jazz while slowly sipping hot cocoa. (or iced lemonade if you live in socal!) I don't have kids so I do that sort of stuff too much, but I think it could be a brief little reset button. just remember time to oneself isn't always selfish.
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